She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Randomize