Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
