Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
