Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
