I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
