she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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