You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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