Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
