So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
