she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
