As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
