If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
