Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
