I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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