lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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