I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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