i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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