the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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