He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
