I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
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when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
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Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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