All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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