No stitches, just platelets and will power
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
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He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
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I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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