All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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