you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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