remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
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