apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
