By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
How external is "for external use only"?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
