i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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