But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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