Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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