$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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