fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
