; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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