Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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