Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
