I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
