no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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