Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
