it was like eating out sand paper
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I had to cum in my sink.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
