When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
