Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
