his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
