Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize