is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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