So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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