White coat. Heels.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
