She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
