Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
