bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
