The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
