Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
