Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
