I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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