They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
