38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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