Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
