dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
