brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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