if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I fill condoms, not promises.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
