he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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