another moral hangover. fuck.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Randomize