so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
