were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
