): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
