I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
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