They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
