this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
