you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
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Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
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I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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