Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
