Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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